What is it with the Asian obsession with noses?

I just found out that AT&T finally activated MMS messaging on the iPhone via a “carrier update” on iTunes.  I was looking for an image to christen my 3G’s MMS capability with, and  I can’t remember what the hell I typed into Google image search to get this picture, but this came up and seemed perfect to send as my first MMS.

lest we forget, big noses are comical here in the west, too

It reminded me of interacting with people in China… those moments when I would attempt to have a brief chat with a stranger.  The old ladies at the shop downstairs, street vendors, subway ticket clerks, girls at the bar, servers, etc.  When my Chinese started improving and becoming somewhat comprehensible, I noticed the people I talked to were just as excited to talk about my nose as to complement me on my speaking.  One time, when my friend came to visit me, we were in an elevator and two Chinese men walked in.  One said to the other, “Hey, check it out! What a good-looking nose.”  Of course they thought we couldn’t understand them.  What’s funny is that they were actually probably talking about my friend, whose nose is almost impossibly bigger than mine.  I think we must have just looked like two huge noses walking down the streets of Beijing to them.

I guess it is important to reveal here that I am, indeed, equipped with a nose of epic proportions.  My girlfriend and I found a small medical tape-measuring device in my room one day and proceeded to measure each others faces.  In the process I discovered that not only are my eyes very close together and incredibly deep-set, but my nose is an astonishing… wait for it… 2″ long from the face to its absolute highest peak.  Yep, a full 2″ length and skinny as hell to top it off.

My nose has an interesting history. It seemed to have grown to its fullest size in a matter of months. I guess this is what happens to Albanian men: they hit puberty, growth spurt, nose spurt. I’ve nearly broken mine a few times (how could you avoid it).  And although most people would be obsessively self-conscious about having such a disproportionate facial feature, one could say I have really “grown” into it.  Besides, the one thing all of my past girlfriends have unanimously told me is that they like my nose.  Who could argue with that?